Life crises – a betrayal of a partner, a terrible diagnosis, loss of work – entail great changes. They scare and can give rise to a feeling of loneliness, hopelessness and even shake self -esteem. How not to slide down to negative self -perception?

Significant life changes bear the uncertainty that sucks us into a swamp of fear: “How I can handle? Who am I now? But how are all our plans for the future? What did I do wrong? I will never love anyone again “. Some people feel guilty and anger, feel like outcasts, worthless, losers.

Self -esteem – an integral part of mental health. How we evaluate ourselves, affects the quality of relations, career, self -confidence, motivation and in https://farm2houses.com/afrointroductions-visitors-2/en-definitive-blog-en-tenant-rencontre-pour-les/ general our happiness. At the same time, self -esteem is a construct created by the mind. We are born, knowing nothing about ourselves.

How it is formed?

Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning in the book “Self-Assembly” (2016) write that its foundation lays the attitude of parents to us in the first three to four years of life. When we grow, we get life experience and play new social roles, it becomes increasingly difficult to determine whether circumstances affect self -esteem or self -esteem determines the circumstances.

However, we can say for sure that our thoughts always affect it. What we say to ourselves determines how we perceive everything around.

For example, if you looked in the mirror and said to yourself: “My hair looks terrible, I am a freak,” your self -esteem will fall. If they said: “I will try to make a new hairstyle and see if I will like it,” you will probably feel satisfaction, and self -esteem will remain in place. The event has not changed, your interpretation has changed.

Do you think that you have healthy self -esteem, or admit that it is worth working on it, any significant changes can be very emotionally charged and lead to excessive reactions.

When life turns upside down, it is normal to experience psychological (and sometimes physical) pain. However, when this pain turns into an internal attack on itself, it is time to stop and realize how what is happening affects self -esteem, preventing you from cope with the crisis and move forward.

If any significant life event undermined your self-worth, it is never too late to restore or improve it. Psychotherapist Nancy Haudek offers several ideas how to do it.

Neutralize internal criticism

Everyone has an inner voice – how we talk to ourselves in our heads. Sometimes he lives somewhere in the back of thoughts, and a person does not particularly notice him. But for other people, he is so loud that he can’t hide from him – hard and critical, he reminds of our mistakes, shortcomings, failures.

To believe this inner criticism means punishing yourself, ashamed, feel worthless and destroy self -esteem. Sometimes it is difficult to control these negative thoughts, and we are ready to do anything to repel this internal attack.

Some people cope with this, trying to do everything perfectly. Others use drugs and alcohol to drown out this voice. But this decision is not only temporary, but also dangerous and can lead to a further deterioration in mental and physical health.

To cope with the attack of internal critic, it is better to notice and accept it than to push. Pay attention to your negative thoughts and notice how distort, they are unrealistic and unfounded. Create new installations that refute the negative scenario on paper or in the mind.